Unique

Unique:

Being without a like or equal, being the only one.

Last year, I pledged to embark on a quest to find the words which would fill the daunting white space below the word description on my Twitter profile.  Since that pledge, I have written ten drafts of my second entry, changing the subject word three times.  I have sat down more times than I can count with the intensions of finishing this all important document, but the words just haven’t found me.

There are 171, 476 commonly used words listed in the oxford dictionary.  This number does not include the 47, 156 obsolete or the 9, 5oo derivative words listed.  This, are you ready for it, brings the ground total to 228, 132 listed English words, so how can it be that I cannot find just one to explore?  And if finding one is so difficult, how am I to find several that suit me?  After months of brainstorming and endless attempts of bringing my vow to life, I remain at a loss.

When I look into my past, I see the words; Happy, hurt, struggle, fight, strength, hopeful, believer, optimist, funny.   When I look to the future, I optimistically see words like; strong, secure, happy, fun, joyful.  The thing about the past and future though, is that one has already been written, the words are already there, ready to be plucked, and the other is a piece of fiction, a work that can be re-worked at any time to fit any imagined future.  The past can be dictated, the future can be sketched but the present is here, now, and holds no instruction manual.  So, in order to continue my story properly, I think I have no choice but to think back to what words I held for my future when I was in my past.

When I was fifteen, the words that I hoped would be mine in the future were: girlfriend, wife, mother, strong, and confident.  I hoped that all my childhood dreams would be realized and, above all, I wanted to be happy.  Now being in that future, I can say that I have been a girlfriend, I am a wife, and a mother, and I think I am a relatively strong independent person. The only problem is, as great as they are, now that I am in possession of these words, I do not want to be profiled only as these. Now I am aware that these words are important and hold great value, but I know many people who fit this same description.  It is ironic really, when I was fifteen, all I wanted in the world was to be indifferent, to have what the average woman had, achieving the stereotypical dreams of every other little girl, and  now that I have those words, I am on the hunt for the words that uniquely describe who I am.  I guess that’s my word for now.  Unique.  Amongst all the traditional terms which describe me, I am unique.  This word is one which raised great protest from me in the past, and now it is one that I am proudly using to describe me. 

Word #1: unique….more to follow

Me in Words

Description:

Noun- a statement that represents something in words.

If you asked me right now to describe myself in three words, I would have no idea what three words to use.  There is of course the popular, mundane choices; kind, fun, strong, etc., but what do these words really say about who I am.  A word or a grouping of words is a very powerful tool.  It can liberate a person from shyness and fear, or it can confine them in a prison of self doubt and insecurity.  They have the ability to write peace treaties, and at the same time they can declare war on a nation.  Looking at the two ends of the spectrum, it seems to me that one has to be very careful as to which words are chosen to represent their character.

I recently opened a Twitter account and like many other social networking sites, Twitter came with a routine profile section complete with a description area.  Since I often use the written word to voice my feelings, thoughts and aspirations, I thought this would just take me five minutes, but as I sat watching the perpetual blinking of the cursor, I found myself at a loss of words.  Who am I, and who do I want people to picture in their minds as they are reading this all powerful Twitter profile?  Being a word enthusiast, I could not leave a blank canvas on my account, so I quickly wrote:” I am all about stories. Fiction, non, outrageous, or low-key. Everybody has a story to write, so start writing!.”  Pathetic I know, but I figured it was better than nothing.  Now, you may be wondering why I am writing about the written word.  The concept does sound like a bit of an oxymoron, verging on redundancy and I do not blame anybody who is reading this for asking the obvious question.  Why did a relatively routine task like creating a Twitter account, leave me so perplexed that I am now writing a blog about it?

While I watched that cursor taunting me with its blink, blink, blink I began to think.  If I had to describe myself in a profile or even in three words ten years ago, what words would I have casted to the page?  If the task presented itself even five years ago, what would have been penned down then?  I began to think;  if my life were a constant evolving profile, what story would it tell?  In an internet obsessed world, filled with email, blogs, and texts, how many times would my “status” change and to what?

So this is my thesis, the purpose of this blog.  I am determined to replace my “pathetic” Twitter description with words that describe me, who I am as a mother, as a writer, as a professional, and as a person.  I am not sure where this literary treasure hunt will take me, but hopefully it will lead me to the words I crave the most, the ones that answer the question; what three words describe Samantha Bonwick?